It's a relief, to be honest. It allows Scott to use the kiss as a grounding point, focus completely on it and not worry too much about 'taking the lead' in it, which requires a more active thought process. It keeps him more relaxed and just enjoy being touched.
It doesn't take long to get a soft, muffled, groan out of him, accompanied by his hands moving. Not in some dramatic way just less still and less quiet. Sliding his fingers up and down Chris' spine, letting his nails catch and drag lightly.
This? Is actually, almost to his surprise, really, really just nice. Good, even.]
[Oh, that's nice. He likes his back being touched. Well, he likes being touched in these sorts of situations anyway, but the small glide of pressure over his back sends small shivers through him. There's a small flicker in his mind, a recognition Scott was just fun to kiss, never mind anything else, but he sets that aside for later.
For now, he focuses on the kisses he leads them through, the alternating between gentle and something just a touch more hungry. His hand still on the back of the couch shifts to Scott's shoulder instead, something more grounding for himself to avoid sticking his fingers in Scott's hair like he's inclined to.
When he feels like Scott's more relaxed and he can feel the kiss-bruised soreness in his lips, Chris' wandering hand slips further and further down to trail across Scott's thigh, then further in to lightly brush between his legs.]
[ Somewhere between the... coaxing, alternating rhythm inside the kiss - heated, steadier, back again, and the careful lightness and drift of Chris' hand sliding up Scott realizes two things: 1-) He's being managed. 2-) What Chris was asking about was less 'how do you want your dick sucked' than providing him an opportunity to tell Chris how to be careful with him.
He should probably resent anyone this young being this careful with him.
He doesn't. If anything, he's impressed.
That would be different with one of His People, but it isn't for this.
He's even impressed, once he realizes, with Chris seeking him out to make the offer.
Those realizations happen quickly, and in no way translate to a pause in his reactions. There's a faint catch in his breath, and his fingers skirting up Chris' back one more time before loosely wrapping around his arm, where it's braced. Not moving him or stopping him, just giving himself an anchor point.
That realization actually adds a surge of heat to the touch and the kiss, has him more easily just letting his legs fall further apart and make room and resulting in his cock hardening. Makes it easier to shut down too much tought, somehow.
The noise he makes is a little strangled but that's mostly because he is both turned on, wants to groan and is trying to not almost... laugh at himself.
He gives Chris' arm a gentle squeeze. That he hopes is reassuring.
[Reassuring is what he gets from the touch and the reaction under his hand. Chris settles more between Scott's legs and slowly lowers himself to his knees, the kiss breaking as slowly as he can make it, like it aches to do so.
In some ways, it does. Chris was weak to a good kiss and he knew it, but he'd come here with a purpose in mind. Maybe next time he could kiss Scott's lips numb while he offered a simple handjob, if there'd be a next time. It was a thought for later that filed itself away quickly.
Chris' lips fell in a trail of light kisses down Scott's neck and even his clothed chest as he went. Once he was settled between the other man's legs properly, he ran his hands along the inside of those spread thighs and presses a kiss to Scott's hardening cock through his pants. Deft fingers reach to take hold of button and zipper, but not before Chris looks up to check Scott's expression.
It's hard with those sunglasses on, but he looks for lines around his brows and mouth, tension in his jaw, anything that would tell him he should stop or at least slow down.]
[ Scott's warm, relaxed, turned on and enjoying the heat of Chris' mouth and the slow careful slide of his hands. Likes the texture of hair under his hands. He's flushed, hard, breathing easily and just a little bit faster than usual.
He's fine.
Until he's not.
There's no freak out involved. The point warmly turned on should (would) turn into sexual tension building toward release just doesn't happen. He can't get quite far enough out of his head or let go of enough physical control to let it happen. Too much awareness that he doesn't know Chris, of quota and consequences of both quota and of what happens if he really loses control, and -
just a lot of crap.
So rather than slowly building tension, a crescendo and release it's... slowly building tension, a plateau that holds and then turns into frustration.
And some new things to feel shitty about, but regardless he has to eventually, gently, tug Chris' hair.
This is one of Chris' most favorite sexual activities, he's done it a lot, so while every person is different, there's a general rhythm to these things he expects. When Scott doesn't seem to be reaching that edge, just skirting along it, there's something in Chris' head that tells him something's up. He's too distracted, not into Chris enough, too busy imagining someone else but the differences are too noticeable. Something. At the very least, he does know it's not his skills or probably even him at all, not in a personal way, so when Scott tugs at his hair to pull him off, Chris goes without fuss.
Green eyes look up to him as he brings the back of his hand up to wipe at his mouth while his other hand wraps around the base of Scott's cock, mostly only to hold for now.]
Hey...s'alright. What's in your head?
[His voice is a little rough, but there's genuine concern in it all the same.]
That I need to find less perceptive people to fail quota with.
[ It's dry, but in that exact moment that's about what he's thinking. Call him out precisely, why don't you? Would be almost easier just to try to soothe a wounded ego, but then that wouldn't be Chris -
and not knowing Chris well doesn't mean he isn't sure that would be hard to accomplish.
The guy is good with his mouth.
Also wondering why color Chris' eyes are, but that's an idle background thought. Secondary to the fact that he's got a hand around his dick, which is in turn secondary to all the rest of the shit. Like being called out.]
He chuckles for the quip, but doesn't deny it. He knows he's good at reading people, sometimes to his or their annoyance, but still. He shakes his head.]
No one's failing quota while I've any hand involved. There's other ways through this.
[He squeezes the hand wrapped around Scott as emphasis, but only offers a brief kiss to the head before Chris tucks him back into his jeans and scoots back to give the man room to stand.]
But, yeah. Drink first, cause it sounds like you're in need as well.
Scott had meant water, but something with some alcoholic content and a stronger taste would probably not go awry right now and-
Fine. He might be drinking too much - again - but it's still less than it was.
He gets up as soon as he's got space to, drags a hand through his hair and heads straight to the fridge to grab a couple of beers. He hands one to Chris rather than toss it, since who knows if the guy can catch. He doesn't want to make this more awkward. ]
[The water Chris fetches from for himself from where he'd left it while Scott gets up to head into the kitchen. It's a good rinse and soothes a bit of the ache left behind in his throat and jaw. He could use magic, but it wasn't that bad or that distracting.
The beer he accepts with a nod, but keeps his place on the floor in front of the couch, long legs stretched out both out of habit and for his knees.]
Funny you should say that...cause I'm starting to see a measure of similarity between us two and, frankly, what that similarity measures out to is the closed off part. The part that thinks what we're thinking and feeling ought stay safely locked tight else it come out sharp or wrong or both.
So...when you say you're fine...
[He takes a swig from the can, but his attention is locked on Scott.]
[ Scott sits back on the couch, one leg bent under him and the other one stretched out. He's pretty well muscled, but he's got a lot of flexibility, and a lot of his height is in his legs, too.
Much simpler similarities than whatever it is Chris is picking up on.
And broadcasting. ]
So when I say I'm fine I mean that I am in absolutely no danger of killing anyone or collapsing past the point of functionality.
And I feel the need to say that my unwillingness to express myself is not entirely because I'm afraid of being misunderstood.
[...Well, to be fair, that was a reasonable baseline and Chris nods again as he sets the drink aside.]
Well, fair's fair, that's a fine measure, most part. I'll not press your second point, but worth mentioning my curiosity's in play all the same.
That said...functioning don't mean you're not ripping at yourself in small ways, like picking a scab so the wound can't close proper.
Any number'll get into your head and mess with your ability to bed someone, but that's a dangerous thing here. Might be worth revaluating your bottom line 'fine.'
[ Yeah, yeah, the rest of the reasons are all complicated and would take too much effort with someone who doesn't already know him.
Which is absolutely one of the reasons. He's going to move on - after he takes another drink of his beer.]
I know. [ Meaning that's a fair assessment. ] At least in as much as any situation where fine doesn't quite apply needs a plan to deal with. I don't mind breaking them but doing so deliberately is... more controlled. I passed quota the first time with illegal sex and accidental drug exposure. I'd rather not be reliant on their rules, but there's always... exploiting definitions. Probably.
Look, my contract partner's not one for sex at all in any circumstance. He makes his by working for the cams. Other people get off on him dancing or doing whatever and he never need see them. Another friend watches others take care of each other and he gets credit for being there.
[He shrugs. Neither were for him, but if they made Festival and Jon's lives easier here, he'd tear anyone a new hole who argued it didn't count for some reason.]
To my knowledge, definition of 'meeting quota' just requires one party to get off and that party need not have deep involvement, depending.
Now...what's your definition of 'exploiting' and 'probably.'
[ He's both impressed and mildly irritated by Chris in that exact moment, which probably means he actually likes him. He can't even pretend it's entirely unexpected - it's not like he didn't already know Chris was smart and perceptive and pushy.
Those are the reasons he accepted that offer to begin with.
The irritation's just at having it turned on him. ]
I gave brief thought to taking up stripping. Maybe I'll go back to that. [ That is a joke, and his wry tone is probably a clue. It's a decent idea, he just knows he probably literally cannot. Too stiff. Maybe drunk enough, but bad plan. ] The second is more what I meant about exploiting. The probably is more about whether or not I manage to actually talk to people enough to make that happen.
There's always... telepathic assistance, I guess. That's an easier conversation to have -- and yes, I realize I should be telling you what my hangup is, I will do that as soon as I've finished sorting it out and can present it with any level of coherence.
[Chris stares at him a moment before silently reaching for his can to take a generous gulp.]
Gods....You really are me in some of the worst ways. Cheers to us and take your time.
[At least he understands. He puts a hand through his hair, pulling it a bit on purpose while he thinks.]
Will say...you're talking to me and that's a start somewhere. Can't much help for telepathic assistance myself, no magic to my name's got that slant, but there's those here who can help there.
[He'd mentioned his wife was here, but Chris was pretty sure the bit about her being a telepath was new. That would be useful, assuming he actually went to her for that.
If Ra'ah or Kallian were suddenly telepathic, Chris is pretty sure there'd be times he'd avoid them.]
Already cited the bit about 'I'm fine' now you've got the part where saying what's in your head takes a minute and if it's not a fear of misunderstanding...let me guess it's difficulty with the words themselves.
Dunno about you, but find too often my throat closes up like it's choking on words that have physical substance when the meaning or emotion's too big or thoughts too tightly spun. You've my sympathy for it's all I'm meaning; I don't wish a break in mind and mouth on many.
[He smiles a bit and reaches for humor instead of too-honest truth to strip them both down more than they'd been even a few minutes before.]
[ That is another joke, this one self-depreciating. There's also nothing wrong with his eyes, but that's not the joke. For all Chris knows he doesn't even have eyes, but still.
Another beat or two of processing and he sighs. ]
In my defense I've had at least one person in my head for decades. It makes verbal communication less... necessary than it might otherwise be.
Suppose I'll have to take your word for it, won't I? Unless you're ever willing to tell me what they look like under those.
[He's never met someone so determined to cover their eyes. Well. Except Topher, but Topher was blind and Chris was pretty sure there weren't any eyes left. So maybe Scott's sunglasses were similar in function to Topher's magic band-thing: a way to see without sight.
A question for another time.]
I see. I'm sorry. [He didn't need to ask what changed, Scott had said his wife had died.]
Unfortunately, you've still the rest of us to deal with and only verbal or physical communication to rely on. Learning curve's a bitch.
Glowing red, or blue depending on what circumstances you're seeing them in.
[ Absent, because he's not really thinking about that part and that's the fairly easy conversation. The rest of it -]
I can manage most necessary communication just fine. It's the feelings into words that's an issue. Which is... going to be an issue here, unlike any other point in my life because all of this verbal communication has to happen around sex and other people's relationships.
[Glowing red or blue? That was quite the difference in option.]
There’s a story in that one, but alright.
[The rest of that…is fair and Chris feels like he’ll be a hypocrite if he offers any insight at all…but…]
Yeah, that’s gonna be a hard one. Dunno if it’d work, I’ve been sorta hit or miss, but I’m trying it for my own similar issues: friend of mine suggested ‘stream of consciousness.’ Works pretty well in text cause then you write it all out and edit the rest, but even if you just wrote it on paper for your head and no one’s eyes, that might help.
[He shrugs.] A thought from one emotionally-challenged asshole to another.
I convert energy into concussive force that constantly emits as red light and force through my eyes. I fell on my head when I was a kid and broke my off switch. The glasses block both. Before I gained that ability and on the rare occasion I've lost it, my eyes are blue.
[ That's the easy part. Maybe not an explanation that makes any sense, but it's at least factual and easy. The rest... is hard. On one hand, why do they have to talk? Can't they just talk about not talking. On the other, honestly, he just failed to get off with someone who was trying to help him - and who had his dick in his mouth - and fairness says that deserves something. Like effort. ]
Before I got here I had a friend beaten to death. Before that the last interaction I had with a guy who is here was trying to get him to kill me - then I showed up here and he's from several years into my future. Nothing makes sense and we're apparently in some happy triad situation with my formerly dead ex-wife.
I am still trying to get over everything leading to up trying to kill myself using someone else. Everything I've heard about the future confuses the shit out of me, and that's before we get into the sexual requirements here or what prison was and exactly how much that added additional trauma, to the trauma that put me in prison, or what led me to making the choices I did.
I don't know what to do with any of those people much less here and I'd really rather not be touched except I do.
...that is the most words with the least coherence I have uttered in my life. It might have worked.
[There was, in fact, a story and an interesting one, even if he still wasn't entirely sure he understood, he at least 'knew' now. Maybe the understanding would come later.
Sadly, what Scott says next makes more sense, even without a why offered, he could understand the rest of it.
Without a word, Chis takes his beer and stands so he can sit on the couch next to Scott. Right next to Scott so their arms and legs touched.]
Well, I'm touching you, then, and only for a bit until you tell me to move or my own aversion to prolonged touch kicks in.
Beyond that....I'm sorry. That is a lot. You need your head sorted and possibly taken out of it. I'd say you ought talk to those that're here so they know what's stewing, but I'm the last person to say such, so fuck it. Do it as you can afore the city forces you somehow.
But... that made plenty sense to me, so I'd say it worked.
[ There's a faint quirk of a smile at mention of the contact until one of them can't take it anymore. Yeah, it feels a little like he's meeting himself.
That'd be less funny and frustrating if he liked himself more, but to hell with it. At least he's understood. ]
The last advice I'd give anyone else is to let the city force it, but I think I'll feel better if I do. Besides, I might learn something.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-03-04 03:53 pm (UTC)It's a relief, to be honest. It allows Scott to use the kiss as a grounding point, focus completely on it and not worry too much about 'taking the lead' in it, which requires a more active thought process. It keeps him more relaxed and just enjoy being touched.
It doesn't take long to get a soft, muffled, groan out of him, accompanied by his hands moving. Not in some dramatic way just less still and less quiet. Sliding his fingers up and down Chris' spine, letting his nails catch and drag lightly.
This? Is actually, almost to his surprise, really, really just nice. Good, even.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-04 06:47 pm (UTC)For now, he focuses on the kisses he leads them through, the alternating between gentle and something just a touch more hungry. His hand still on the back of the couch shifts to Scott's shoulder instead, something more grounding for himself to avoid sticking his fingers in Scott's hair like he's inclined to.
When he feels like Scott's more relaxed and he can feel the kiss-bruised soreness in his lips, Chris' wandering hand slips further and further down to trail across Scott's thigh, then further in to lightly brush between his legs.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-04 08:17 pm (UTC)1-) He's being managed.
2-) What Chris was asking about was less 'how do you want your dick sucked' than providing him an opportunity to tell Chris how to be careful with him.
He should probably resent anyone this young being this careful with him.
He doesn't. If anything, he's impressed.
That would be different with one of His People, but it isn't for this.
He's even impressed, once he realizes, with Chris seeking him out to make the offer.
Those realizations happen quickly, and in no way translate to a pause in his reactions. There's a faint catch in his breath, and his fingers skirting up Chris' back one more time before loosely wrapping around his arm, where it's braced. Not moving him or stopping him, just giving himself an anchor point.
That realization actually adds a surge of heat to the touch and the kiss, has him more easily just letting his legs fall further apart and make room and resulting in his cock hardening. Makes it easier to shut down too much tought, somehow.
The noise he makes is a little strangled but that's mostly because he is both turned on, wants to groan and is trying to not almost... laugh at himself.
He gives Chris' arm a gentle squeeze. That he hopes is reassuring.
God he misses telepathy.]
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Date: 2022-03-08 07:23 pm (UTC)In some ways, it does. Chris was weak to a good kiss and he knew it, but he'd come here with a purpose in mind. Maybe next time he could kiss Scott's lips numb while he offered a simple handjob, if there'd be a next time. It was a thought for later that filed itself away quickly.
Chris' lips fell in a trail of light kisses down Scott's neck and even his clothed chest as he went. Once he was settled between the other man's legs properly, he ran his hands along the inside of those spread thighs and presses a kiss to Scott's hardening cock through his pants. Deft fingers reach to take hold of button and zipper, but not before Chris looks up to check Scott's expression.
It's hard with those sunglasses on, but he looks for lines around his brows and mouth, tension in his jaw, anything that would tell him he should stop or at least slow down.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 08:04 pm (UTC)He's fine.
Until he's not.
There's no freak out involved. The point warmly turned on should (would) turn into sexual tension building toward release just doesn't happen. He can't get quite far enough out of his head or let go of enough physical control to let it happen. Too much awareness that he doesn't know Chris, of quota and consequences of both quota and of what happens if he really loses control, and -
just a lot of crap.
So rather than slowly building tension, a crescendo and release it's... slowly building tension, a plateau that holds and then turns into frustration.
And some new things to feel shitty about, but regardless he has to eventually, gently, tug Chris' hair.
]
This isn't going to work.
[ Does he sound guilty and strained? Yep. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 08:16 pm (UTC)This is one of Chris' most favorite sexual activities, he's done it a lot, so while every person is different, there's a general rhythm to these things he expects. When Scott doesn't seem to be reaching that edge, just skirting along it, there's something in Chris' head that tells him something's up. He's too distracted, not into Chris enough, too busy imagining someone else but the differences are too noticeable. Something. At the very least, he does know it's not his skills or probably even him at all, not in a personal way, so when Scott tugs at his hair to pull him off, Chris goes without fuss.
Green eyes look up to him as he brings the back of his hand up to wipe at his mouth while his other hand wraps around the base of Scott's cock, mostly only to hold for now.]
Hey...s'alright. What's in your head?
[His voice is a little rough, but there's genuine concern in it all the same.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 08:31 pm (UTC)[ It's dry, but in that exact moment that's about what he's thinking. Call him out precisely, why don't you? Would be almost easier just to try to soothe a wounded ego, but then that wouldn't be Chris -
and not knowing Chris well doesn't mean he isn't sure that would be hard to accomplish.
The guy is good with his mouth.
Also wondering why color Chris' eyes are, but that's an idle background thought. Secondary to the fact that he's got a hand around his dick, which is in turn secondary to all the rest of the shit. Like being called out.]
You want a drink?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 08:45 pm (UTC)No one's failing quota while I've any hand involved. There's other ways through this.
[He squeezes the hand wrapped around Scott as emphasis, but only offers a brief kiss to the head before Chris tucks him back into his jeans and scoots back to give the man room to stand.]
But, yeah. Drink first, cause it sounds like you're in need as well.
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Date: 2022-03-08 09:21 pm (UTC)Scott had meant water, but something with some alcoholic content and a stronger taste would probably not go awry right now and-
Fine. He might be drinking too much - again - but it's still less than it was.
He gets up as soon as he's got space to, drags a hand through his hair and heads straight to the fridge to grab a couple of beers. He hands one to Chris rather than toss it, since who knows if the guy can catch. He doesn't want to make this more awkward. ]
I'm fine, Chris.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 09:47 pm (UTC)The beer he accepts with a nod, but keeps his place on the floor in front of the couch, long legs stretched out both out of habit and for his knees.]
Funny you should say that...cause I'm starting to see a measure of similarity between us two and, frankly, what that similarity measures out to is the closed off part. The part that thinks what we're thinking and feeling ought stay safely locked tight else it come out sharp or wrong or both.
So...when you say you're fine...
[He takes a swig from the can, but his attention is locked on Scott.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 09:55 pm (UTC)Much simpler similarities than whatever it is Chris is picking up on.
And broadcasting. ]
So when I say I'm fine I mean that I am in absolutely no danger of killing anyone or collapsing past the point of functionality.
And I feel the need to say that my unwillingness to express myself is not entirely because I'm afraid of being misunderstood.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 10:18 pm (UTC)Well, fair's fair, that's a fine measure, most part. I'll not press your second point, but worth mentioning my curiosity's in play all the same.
That said...functioning don't mean you're not ripping at yourself in small ways, like picking a scab so the wound can't close proper.
Any number'll get into your head and mess with your ability to bed someone, but that's a dangerous thing here. Might be worth revaluating your bottom line 'fine.'
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 11:14 pm (UTC)Which is absolutely one of the reasons. He's going to move on - after he takes another drink of his beer.]
I know. [ Meaning that's a fair assessment. ] At least in as much as any situation where fine doesn't quite apply needs a plan to deal with. I don't mind breaking them but doing so deliberately is... more controlled. I passed quota the first time with illegal sex and accidental drug exposure. I'd rather not be reliant on their rules, but there's always... exploiting definitions. Probably.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 11:21 pm (UTC)Look, my contract partner's not one for sex at all in any circumstance. He makes his by working for the cams. Other people get off on him dancing or doing whatever and he never need see them. Another friend watches others take care of each other and he gets credit for being there.
[He shrugs. Neither were for him, but if they made Festival and Jon's lives easier here, he'd tear anyone a new hole who argued it didn't count for some reason.]
To my knowledge, definition of 'meeting quota' just requires one party to get off and that party need not have deep involvement, depending.
Now...what's your definition of 'exploiting' and 'probably.'
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 11:29 pm (UTC)Those are the reasons he accepted that offer to begin with.
The irritation's just at having it turned on him. ]
I gave brief thought to taking up stripping. Maybe I'll go back to that. [ That is a joke, and his wry tone is probably a clue. It's a decent idea, he just knows he probably literally cannot. Too stiff. Maybe drunk enough, but bad plan. ] The second is more what I meant about exploiting. The probably is more about whether or not I manage to actually talk to people enough to make that happen.
There's always... telepathic assistance, I guess. That's an easier conversation to have -- and yes, I realize I should be telling you what my hangup is, I will do that as soon as I've finished sorting it out and can present it with any level of coherence.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 11:50 pm (UTC)Gods....You really are me in some of the worst ways. Cheers to us and take your time.
[At least he understands. He puts a hand through his hair, pulling it a bit on purpose while he thinks.]
Will say...you're talking to me and that's a start somewhere. Can't much help for telepathic assistance myself, no magic to my name's got that slant, but there's those here who can help there.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-08 11:53 pm (UTC)[ Almost absent, because that first part has his eyebrows up and he can't quite decide if he's offended or not. Still: ]
What do you mean I'm you? [ In the worst ways, but just in general: what?]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-09 12:20 am (UTC)If Ra'ah or Kallian were suddenly telepathic, Chris is pretty sure there'd be times he'd avoid them.]
Already cited the bit about 'I'm fine' now you've got the part where saying what's in your head takes a minute and if it's not a fear of misunderstanding...let me guess it's difficulty with the words themselves.
Dunno about you, but find too often my throat closes up like it's choking on words that have physical substance when the meaning or emotion's too big or thoughts too tightly spun. You've my sympathy for it's all I'm meaning; I don't wish a break in mind and mouth on many.
[He smiles a bit and reaches for humor instead of too-honest truth to strip them both down more than they'd been even a few minutes before.]
Plus, you're all legs as I am.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-09 12:37 am (UTC)[ That is another joke, this one self-depreciating. There's also nothing wrong with his eyes, but that's not the joke. For all Chris knows he doesn't even have eyes, but still.
Another beat or two of processing and he sighs. ]
In my defense I've had at least one person in my head for decades. It makes verbal communication less... necessary than it might otherwise be.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-09 05:27 pm (UTC)[He's never met someone so determined to cover their eyes. Well. Except Topher, but Topher was blind and Chris was pretty sure there weren't any eyes left. So maybe Scott's sunglasses were similar in function to Topher's magic band-thing: a way to see without sight.
A question for another time.]
I see. I'm sorry. [He didn't need to ask what changed, Scott had said his wife had died.]
Unfortunately, you've still the rest of us to deal with and only verbal or physical communication to rely on. Learning curve's a bitch.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 11:51 pm (UTC)[ Absent, because he's not really thinking about that part and that's the fairly easy conversation. The rest of it -]
I can manage most necessary communication just fine. It's the feelings into words that's an issue. Which is... going to be an issue here, unlike any other point in my life because all of this verbal communication has to happen around sex and other people's relationships.
I really hate this place more every day.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-12 06:35 am (UTC)There’s a story in that one, but alright.
[The rest of that…is fair and Chris feels like he’ll be a hypocrite if he offers any insight at all…but…]
Yeah, that’s gonna be a hard one.
Dunno if it’d work, I’ve been sorta hit or miss, but I’m trying it for my own similar issues: friend of mine suggested ‘stream of consciousness.’ Works pretty well in text cause then you write it all out and edit the rest, but even if you just wrote it on paper for your head and no one’s eyes, that might help.
[He shrugs.] A thought from one emotionally-challenged asshole to another.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-12 09:00 pm (UTC)[ That's the easy part. Maybe not an explanation that makes any sense, but it's at least factual and easy. The rest... is hard. On one hand, why do they have to talk? Can't they just talk about not talking. On the other, honestly, he just failed to get off with someone who was trying to help him - and who had his dick in his mouth - and fairness says that deserves something. Like effort. ]
Before I got here I had a friend beaten to death. Before that the last interaction I had with a guy who is here was trying to get him to kill me - then I showed up here and he's from several years into my future. Nothing makes sense and we're apparently in some happy triad situation with my formerly dead ex-wife.
I am still trying to get over everything leading to up trying to kill myself using someone else. Everything I've heard about the future confuses the shit out of me, and that's before we get into the sexual requirements here or what prison was and exactly how much that added additional trauma, to the trauma that put me in prison, or what led me to making the choices I did.
I don't know what to do with any of those people much less here and I'd really rather not be touched except I do.
...that is the most words with the least coherence I have uttered in my life. It might have worked.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-16 12:43 am (UTC)[There was, in fact, a story and an interesting one, even if he still wasn't entirely sure he understood, he at least 'knew' now. Maybe the understanding would come later.
Sadly, what Scott says next makes more sense, even without a why offered, he could understand the rest of it.
Without a word, Chis takes his beer and stands so he can sit on the couch next to Scott. Right next to Scott so their arms and legs touched.]
Well, I'm touching you, then, and only for a bit until you tell me to move or my own aversion to prolonged touch kicks in.
Beyond that....I'm sorry. That is a lot. You need your head sorted and possibly taken out of it. I'd say you ought talk to those that're here so they know what's stewing, but I'm the last person to say such, so fuck it. Do it as you can afore the city forces you somehow.
But... that made plenty sense to me, so I'd say it worked.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-17 02:22 pm (UTC)That'd be less funny and frustrating if he liked himself more, but to hell with it. At least he's understood. ]
The last advice I'd give anyone else is to let the city force it, but I think I'll feel better if I do. Besides, I might learn something.